Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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