Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
