Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
