is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
