What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize