Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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