Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
