3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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