remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
