Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
