Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
