I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
