I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
