that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
