I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
