my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
