Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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