Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
