WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize