I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
