That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
