Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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