Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize