We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
