You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize