well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
