some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Then you guys just all showered together...?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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