I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
