I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
