Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
barbara walters just said penis...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
whose parrot is this?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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