I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
