yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
