it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
