i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
