Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
