For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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