i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
