You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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