I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
