cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
