and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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