Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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