the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
