all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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