The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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