i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
