the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
