seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
