she was so not down for the gang bang
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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