I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
