Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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