her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
