she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
