All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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