i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
