How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
