do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
