Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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