"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
