Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
