3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it because I queefed?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
