Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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