i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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