Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
