So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
