absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
