i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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