I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
