Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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